If loving someone means not asking them to do anything different, you have not helped him; and if telling someone the truth means asking them to be just like yourself, you have not loved him.

Meet the Culturally Relevant Christian, who found Jesus while watching The Passion of the Christ–and lost ’em watching The DaVinci Code.

My sister shot a opossum. Twice. He died. I guess she really has been going easy on me all these years.

“Don’t stick your face so far in the bowl next time.” Note: Not my own quote. Overheard from a coworker’s conversation with her child. I might post it over my own toilet. So far I have not ceased to derive amusement from the sagacity of this advice.